How To Talk To Your Bank About Missed Mortgage Payments

Missing a mortgage payment can feel scary, but avoiding the bank usually makes the situation worse. If you are behind, or you think you may fall behind soon, the best first step is to contact your mortgage servicer as early as possible. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau recommends calling your mortgage servicer right away if you cannot pay or are worried about missing a payment, and also contacting a HUD-approved housing counselor for help avoiding foreclosure. (Consumer Financial Protection Bureau)

Your bank or mortgage servicer may have options, but they usually need to hear from you before they can review your situation. A clear, prepared conversation can help you understand your choices and avoid unnecessary delays.

First, Know Who To Call

The company you make payments to may not be the same company that originally gave you the loan. The company that collects your payments and manages your account is called your mortgage servicer.

You can usually find your servicer’s phone number on:

• Your monthly mortgage statement
• Your online mortgage account
• Letters or notices from the lender
• Payment coupons
• Escrow statements
• Foreclosure or delinquency notices

When you call, ask for the loss mitigation department or home retention department. Loss mitigation is the process mortgage servicers use to review options that may help borrowers avoid foreclosure. The CFPB explains that many mortgage servicers are required to work with borrowers to see if they qualify for foreclosure-avoidance options. (Consumer Financial Protection Bureau)

Do Not Wait Until You Are Several Months Behind

Many homeowners wait because they feel embarrassed, overwhelmed, or afraid of what the bank will say. But the earlier you call, the more options you may have.

If you wait too long, late fees, legal fees, and foreclosure-related costs can add up. HUD explains that after the third missed payment, homeowners may receive a demand letter or notice to accelerate, and if payment or arrangements are not made, the lender may begin foreclosure proceedings. (HUD)

Even if you have only missed one payment, or you are about to miss one, it is still worth calling.

What To Say When You Call

You do not need to have the perfect words. Be honest, calm, and direct.

You can start with something like:

“I am having trouble making my mortgage payment and I want to understand my options before the situation gets worse.”

Or:

“I missed a payment and want to know what I can do to avoid foreclosure and bring the loan current.”

Or:

“My income changed, and I need help reviewing any hardship or loss mitigation options available on my loan.”

The goal of the first call is not to solve everything immediately. The goal is to open communication, get accurate information, and learn what steps are available.

Information To Have Before You Call

Before calling your bank, gather basic information so the conversation goes more smoothly.

Try to have:

• Loan number
• Property address
• Most recent mortgage statement
• Amount you are past due
• Monthly income
• Monthly expenses
• Reason for hardship
• Date the hardship started
• Whether the hardship is temporary or long-term
• Any foreclosure letters or notices
• Your preferred contact information
• A pen and paper for notes

If you do not have everything, still call. Do not delay the conversation just because your paperwork is not perfect.

Explain The Reason For The Missed Payments

Your servicer will likely ask why you missed payments or why you are at risk of missing them. This is often called your hardship.

Common hardships include:

• Job loss
• Reduced hours
• Medical bills
• Divorce or separation
• Death in the family
• Disability
• Business income loss
• Unexpected repairs
• Increased household expenses
• Natural disaster
• Temporary emergency

The CFPB notes that loss mitigation applications often require borrowers to describe the financial hardship preventing them from paying the mortgage. (Consumer Financial Protection Bureau)

Be specific. Instead of saying, “I cannot pay,” say, “I lost my job in March, started a new job in May, and can now afford regular payments but not the full past-due amount at once.”

That kind of detail helps the servicer understand whether you need temporary help, a repayment plan, or a longer-term solution.

Ask For The Exact Amounts

During the call, ask the servicer to explain the numbers clearly.

You should ask:

• How many payments are past due?
• What is my total delinquent amount?
• What is my reinstatement amount?
• What is my full payoff amount?
• Are there late fees?
• Have legal fees been added?
• Has foreclosure started?
• Is there a foreclosure sale date?
• What is the deadline to apply for help?

The reinstatement amount is the amount needed to bring the loan current. The payoff amount is the total amount needed to pay off the loan completely, usually through a sale or refinance.

Ask for important numbers in writing. Verbal information can be misunderstood or change over time.

Ask About Available Mortgage Relief Options

Every loan and situation is different, but your servicer may review options such as:

• Repayment plan
• Forbearance
• Payment deferral
• Loan modification
• Reinstatement
• Short sale
• Deed in lieu of foreclosure

Fannie Mae lists several possible hardship options for homeowners, including forbearance, reinstatement, repayment plans, payment deferral, loan modification, and refinancing. (Fannie Mae)

Not every homeowner will qualify for every option. Your eligibility may depend on your loan type, income, hardship, payment history, investor rules, and whether foreclosure has already started.

Understand Repayment Plans

A repayment plan may help if your hardship is over and you can afford your regular mortgage payment again, but you cannot pay the entire past-due balance at once.

With a repayment plan, the servicer may allow you to repay the missed amount over time by adding part of it to your regular monthly payment.

For example, if you are $3,000 behind, the servicer may divide that amount over several months. You would pay your regular mortgage payment plus the extra agreed amount until you are caught up.

This can work well if your income has recovered, but it may not help if your regular payment is already unaffordable.

Understand Forbearance

Forbearance is a temporary arrangement that allows you to pause or reduce mortgage payments for a limited time. Fannie Mae describes forbearance as an option for homeowners facing short-term hardship, allowing reduced or suspended payments for a designated period. (Fannie Mae)

Forbearance does not usually erase the missed payments. You still need to ask what happens when the forbearance period ends.

Ask your servicer:

• How long would the forbearance last?
• Will interest continue?
• What happens to the missed payments?
• Will I owe a lump sum at the end?
• Can the missed payments be deferred?
• Will this affect my credit?
• What documents do I need?

Do not agree to forbearance unless you understand the exit plan.

Understand Loan Modification

A loan modification changes the terms of your mortgage to make the payment more manageable. This may involve changing the interest rate, extending the loan term, adding missed payments to the balance, or using another structure allowed by your loan program.

A loan modification may be helpful if your hardship is longer-term and you cannot afford the current mortgage payment.

Ask:

• Do I qualify to apply for a loan modification?
• What documents are required?
• Will there be a trial payment plan?
• What will my new payment be?
• Will missed payments be added to the loan?
• Will the interest rate or loan term change?
• How long does review take?

Make sure you send every requested document by the deadline and keep proof that you submitted it.

Ask Whether Foreclosure Has Started

This is one of the most important questions. Do not assume you are safe just because you have not received a court notice or sale date.

Ask directly:

“Has my loan been referred to foreclosure?”

Then ask:

“Is there a foreclosure sale date scheduled?”

If foreclosure has started, ask who is handling it, what deadlines apply, and what you must do to pause or stop the process. Get the answer in writing when possible.

Take Notes During Every Call

Keep a call log. This can help if there is confusion later.

Write down:

• Date and time of the call
• Name and employee ID of the person you spoke with
• Department
• Phone number called
• What they told you
• Documents requested
• Deadlines
• Confirmation numbers
• Next steps

After the call, save emails, letters, upload confirmations, and mailing receipts. If you send documents by fax, certified mail, or online portal, keep proof.

Ask For Help From A HUD-Approved Housing Counselor

You do not have to handle the conversation alone. HUD-approved housing counselors can help homeowners understand options, prepare documents, and communicate with the mortgage company. The CFPB says housing counselors can help create a tailored action plan and work with your mortgage company at no cost to you. (Consumer Financial Protection Bureau)

A housing counselor can be especially helpful if:

• You do not understand the lender’s letters
• You are facing foreclosure
• You were denied for assistance
• You are unsure which option is best
• You are worried about scams
• You need help completing a loss mitigation package

Be careful with companies that charge large upfront fees or promise guaranteed foreclosure rescue. A HUD-approved counselor is a safer place to start.

Be Honest About What You Can Afford

When talking to your bank, avoid agreeing to a payment plan that you cannot realistically maintain. A plan that looks good on paper can fail quickly if the payment is too high.

Before agreeing, review your actual budget. Include:

• Mortgage payment
• Utilities
• Food
• Transportation
• Insurance
• Medical expenses
• Childcare
• Credit cards
• Car payments
• Taxes
• Emergency expenses

If the proposed payment is not realistic, say so. Ask whether another option is available.

What Not To Say Or Do

When you are under pressure, it is easy to make promises just to end the conversation. Try to avoid that.

Do not:

• Ignore calls or letters
• Promise a payment you cannot make
• Send partial payments without understanding how they will be applied
• Assume a verbal agreement is enough
• Miss document deadlines
• Wait for foreclosure notices before acting
• Stop communicating after submitting paperwork
• Sign documents you do not understand
• Pay a third party who promises guaranteed help

The goal is to keep communication open and documented.

If You Want To Keep The House

If your goal is to stay in the home, tell the bank that clearly.

Say:

“My goal is to keep the home. What home retention options are available for my loan?”

Home retention options may include repayment plans, forbearance, deferral, or loan modification.

Be ready to explain whether your hardship is temporary or permanent. If your income has recovered, the bank may look at one type of solution. If your payment is no longer affordable long-term, the bank may need to review a different option.

If You May Need To Sell The House

If you cannot afford the mortgage going forward, selling may be the better choice. You can still talk to the bank about your timeline.

Ask:

• What is the payoff amount?
• Has foreclosure started?
• How much time do I have to sell?
• Can foreclosure be paused if I have a signed purchase contract?
• What happens if the sale price is less than the mortgage balance?
• Would a short sale be considered?
• What documents are needed for a short sale?

Selling before foreclosure may help you protect remaining equity and avoid a forced sale. If you owe more than the house is worth, a short sale may require lender approval.

If You Are Already In Foreclosure

If foreclosure has started, act quickly and get help. Call your servicer, contact a HUD-approved housing counselor, and consider speaking with an attorney familiar with foreclosure in your state.

Ask for exact dates and deadlines. Relative phrases like “soon” or “in process” are not enough.

You need to know:

• The foreclosure sale date
• The reinstatement deadline
• Whether loss mitigation is still available
• Whether a complete application can delay review
• Whether a sale of the home can still stop foreclosure
• Who to contact for written confirmation

Foreclosure rules vary by state, so local advice matters.

Watch Out For Scams

Homeowners behind on payments can become targets for scams. Be careful if someone promises they can “save your home” but asks for money upfront, tells you to stop talking to your lender, or asks you to sign over the deed.

Warning signs include:

• Guaranteed foreclosure rescue
• Pressure to sign immediately
• Upfront fees for help
• Requests to transfer title
• Instructions to stop paying or stop contacting your lender
• Confusing “take over payments” promises
• No written explanation of services
• Refusal to let you speak with an attorney or counselor

A legitimate professional should not pressure you or isolate you from trusted help.

Sample Script For Calling Your Bank

Here is a simple script you can use:

“Hello, my name is [Name], and my loan number is [Loan Number]. I have missed a mortgage payment, and I want to understand my options before the situation gets worse. My hardship is [brief explanation]. I would like to know the total amount past due, whether foreclosure has started, and what loss mitigation or home retention options are available.”

Then ask:

“What documents do you need from me, what is the deadline, and how can I confirm you received them?”

Before ending the call, ask:

“Can you send me a written summary of my options and the next steps?”

Sample Email Or Message To Your Servicer

You can also send a written message through your online account or by mail:

I am writing because I am having difficulty making my mortgage payments and would like to be reviewed for available loss mitigation or home retention options. My hardship is [brief explanation]. Please provide the current delinquent amount, reinstatement amount, payoff amount, foreclosure status, required application forms, document checklist, and deadlines. Please also confirm the best department and contact information for submitting documents.

Keep a copy of anything you send.

Documents Your Bank May Request

Your servicer may ask for a loss mitigation application and supporting documents.

Common documents include:

• Pay stubs
• Bank statements
• Tax returns
• Profit and loss statement if self-employed
• Hardship letter
• Benefit award letters
• Unemployment income records
• Divorce decree or separation agreement
• Medical expense documentation
• Monthly budget
• Homeowners insurance information
• HOA statements
• Property tax information

Submit documents as completely as possible. Missing pages or outdated statements can delay review.

Final Thoughts

Talking to your bank about missed mortgage payments may feel uncomfortable, but it is one of the most important steps you can take. Call early, explain your hardship honestly, ask for exact numbers, request available options, and document every conversation.

Your servicer may be able to review you for repayment, forbearance, deferral, loan modification, short sale, or other options depending on your situation. A HUD-approved housing counselor can also help you understand the process and communicate with your mortgage company.

The worst thing to do is stay silent. The sooner you talk to your bank, the more time you may have to protect your home, your equity, and your next move.